


The truth runs wild like a tear down a cheek

by JuliaBaggins



Category: Eurovision Song Contest RPF, Festival di Sanremo RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Awkward first meeting, Coming Out, Fluff, Friendship, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, as in there's like a queer youth club, mostly in an emotional way
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2019-12-30 10:03:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18313373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuliaBaggins/pseuds/JuliaBaggins
Summary: Ermal is a good friend, and maybe not quite as straight as he thought he was...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I randomly had the idea for this story while showering, and kinda liked it too much to leave it be, so this happened. Let's see if for once, I actually can keep up with my plan and only make this story two chapters 😁

A bright spring sun was shining down at the school yard, birds were singing and most of the students were happily enjoying their lunch break, chattering with their friends, complaining about classes, laughing, planning their next weekend already. It seemed to be the most ordinary Monday in spring one could imagine, and yet, Ermal could sense that something was wrong. He was sitting on the school yard with his leather jacket opened, a croissant in his hand and his back leaning against an old oak, while his concerned eyes tried to meet the gaze of his best friend sitting next to him. Andrea usually possessed quite a bubbly personality; he always found a topic to distract Ermal with from the worries of school or whatever else was on his mind, but today, Andrea was uncharacteristically quiet. He just stared at his so far untouched sandwich, purposely not meeting Ermal's eyes, and this put the slightly older boy on edge. 

It was not like Andrea never was sad, or angry, or in a non talkative mood, but usually, Ermal always knew what the reason behind that was, so he was able to help, or to at least try that. But today was different - when Ermal had tried to ask Andrea about his emotional state earlier, all gently and with an encouraging smile, Andrea had brushed it off, and now, when Ermal laid his hand on Andrea's shoulder, a last attempt to get his attention towards more pleasant things than the sandwich he certainly wouldn't eat anymore, he flinched violently. Ermal was shocked about this reaction, but more so about the sadness, the _fear_ he saw in Andrea's dark eyes when they finally met his. It was an expression that Ermal never wanted to see in someone else's eyes again, least of all if it was someone he cared about so deeply, and he couldn't avoid the slight tremble in his voice when he started to talk once more, paying attention to not touch Andrea again.

"Andrea?", and Ermal's voice nearly was a whisper, "you don't have to tell me what's bothering you, but I just want you to know that you _can_ , no matter what it is, you can trust me with it."

He let those words sink in for a moment, and when Andrea didn't say anything in reply, continued to talk.

"Whatever it is, please know that you don't have to fight this alone, I'm there for you, and even if I'm not the right person for you at the moment, please, if something has happened, you should talk to _someone_ , you-, there has to be someone who can help you, because honestly, seeing you like this does scare me, and I'm really worried about you."

Andrea closed his eyes, as if he could banish the glimmer of tears that had been shining in them, and when he spoke, his voice seemed to be on the border of breaking.

"I'll tell you Ermal, I promise, I just can't, not now, I-"

"Shh, it's fine, you can take whichever time you need, take a deep breath, it's all going to be okay."

"Ermal? Could you give me a hug?"

Ermal of course did as he was asked, wrapped his friend in the warmest of hugs, and felt him shaking in his arms.

"You'll be fine, you'll get through this, there's nothing we can't solve together", Ermal repeated as an endless stream of reassurances, whispered into Andrea's curls while his tears ran down Ermal's leather jacket. And Ermal wished he actually could be convinced that all of this was true, but without knowing what had happened to Andrea, or what was happening, all that was left was to hope. 

.

When the bell rang to call the students to their next class, Ermal would have liked to curse it to hell and back, but once they loosened their embrace and Ermal helped Andrea back to his feet, he at least was relieved that Andrea didn't look quite as heartbroken anymore. Raising his hand very slowly, so Andrea would have time to back away, Ermal leaned closer, wiped the remaining tears from Andrea's cheeks, and felt a little bit of the weight on his heart lessen when his friend smiled at him. A shaky smile it might have been, but a smile nevertheless, and Ermal saw the honesty sparkling in it.

"Thank you, Ermal, really. I, I'll tell you, maybe we could meet later? A movie night, just like old times?"

"Of course. I'll be there at 6", Ermal replied, and sent a last smile at his friend before they had to part ways to go to their respective classes.

Movie nights, those had started years ago, a tradition born shortly after they had become friends, with Andrea introducing Ermal to all of his favourite films, and with Ermal translating whenever he had brought along an Albanian movie. Lately, they hadn't done this often anymore, too busy with school and their jobs, and whenever they did have free time together, they usually spend it in the city, visiting one of their other friends, making music. But it would have been a lie to say that Ermal hadn't missed their calm nights at the old sofa in the basement of Andrea's parents' house, a bowl of snacks between them and a movie usually older than they were playing on the small TV. Under every other circumstances, he would have been nothing but happy about the invitation, but after Andrea's earlier behavior, he still was scared - about what might darken Andrea's mood so much, and what would put him in the need of an old beloved tradition's comfort to be able to talk about, to his best friend out of all people.

 

Ermal finished the remaining two classes without paying too much attention, then went towards a 2 hour shift at the restaurant and hurried home, to press a quick kiss to his mother's cheek and tell her that he'd be at Andrea's place. She just smiled warmly before she told him to send greetings to his friend and to invite him to dinner at their place some time soon, and then, when Ermal nearly was out of the door again, called him back and placed a scarf around his neck, because those spring evenings could get rather chilly.

A few minutes later, Ermal stood in front of Andrea's door, and his heart was beating as wildly as when he had asked out a girl for the first time; a memory both embarrassing and distant enough to best be forgotten. He knocked, waited a moment, and then was faced with his best friend, wearing an oversized light blue sweater that nearly seemed to be swallowing him and a smile that looked a little bit forced to the knowing eye. After a quick hug, they went towards the basement together, where Andrea already had prepared a bowl of cookies as well as two mugs of tea, and when he started to talk, it was to ask random questions about Ermal's shift at the restaurant or an essay they had to turn in at the end of the week. Nothing that indicated what the issue laying heavily on his heart might be, and Ermal didn't ask, didn't press on it - Andrea would take his time, and eventually tell him, and the least he could do as his friend was to wait.

Andrea had put in the DVD of Jurassic Park, a movie that they had watched together before more than once and both greatly enjoyed, but today, it was different, _felt_ different. Because Ermal could sense how tense Andrea was next to him, he grabbed a cookie hard enough to nearly turn it into crumbs and then not eat it, and he didn't speak along to the dialogue, didn't smile at any of his favourite scenes, didn't complain about stupid decisions; it was as if he was staring at the screen but not seeing what actually was going on there. 

 

Ermal tried to at least focus on the movie, but it didn't quite work, not with how deeply worried about Andrea he was, and so, it didn't escape his attention how his friend took a deep breath before he opened his mouth. On screen, the T-Rex was hunting for prey, and on the worn down little couch, Andrea closed his eyes before he whispered a sentence.

"Ermal, I think I'm gay."

The words reached Ermal's ears, registered at his brain, and slowly, he turned towards Andrea. Andrea, who was facing him now, an openness, a _vulnerability_ in his eyes that felt like a punch to Ermal's gut. His long dark lashes were blinking faster than usual, his eyes tearing up with every second that passed without a reaction from Ermal, without an answer, and when Ermal's gaze landed on Andrea's shaking fingers desperately holding onto the TV's remote control, he gently took it away and paused the movie. Then, both of their fast breaths audible in the new found silence, he once again wrapped Andrea into his arms, because there was nothing else he could think of to do at the moment, no words coming to his mind. Everything he could do was paint calming patterns on Andrea's back, and after a moment, listen to the words that were whispered into his shoulder.

"I think I've known for a few months now, maybe even longer, and I wanted to tell you before, I really did, but I've been so scared, and I, I don't know what to do, I can't, please Ermal, say something, anything?"

Andrea now leaned back, fresh tear tracks on his pale cheeks, and Ermal placed a hand at his friend's knee, a sign of comfort that they both seemed to need in this talk. The frozen image of an ancient predator running over bright green fields illuminated the room, and Ermal tried to put all of his heart, all his sincerity into his words, doubting that there would be many conversations of quite this importance taking place in his life.

"Thank you, for trusting me with this. And I'm, Andrea, I'm so so very proud of you, and you're so brave here, and I- oh come here, please don't cry", and with that, Ermal pulled Andrea back into his arms.

"I've been so scared that this would change things between us, or that, that you'd-", and Andrea couldn't even finish the thought, couldn't describe all the scenarios of how such a situation might go his nightmares had whispered to him, even though he technically _knew_ how unlikely most of those were, judged by how good a friend Ermal had proved to be over the years. And yet, one never knew.

"Never", Ermal answered, hoping to wipe all of those worries away with that one word, and then continued: "You're the best friend I've got in the world and nothing would change that; not if you held another boy's hand at school or if you one day marry a man or if you start walking around every day dressed in a rainbow flag, I don't mind, not at all, as long as you stay the same wonderful person that you are, and I know that you will do that, because I know _you_ , Andrea, and I know that I couldn't have been more lucky than to be placed on the table next to yours when coming to Italy all those years ago. You're my best friend now and I don't intend to let anything change that, least of all something that just is a part of you."

Ermal would have continued to talk, had more things he wanted to say, but Andrea leaned back a little, the smile shining at Ermal now a bright one, and while Andrea struggled to find the right words, Ermal gave him time once again.

"Thank you, I, Jesus Ermal, you can't imagine how relieved I'm feeling right now. I couldn't be more lucky about my choice of a best friend either, you know, and I'm aware that you'd always have my back, even though I doubt that I'd hold another boy's hand at school."

And only during that last part, some of the brightness in Andrea's eyes dimmed.

"I'd fight anyone who dares to say a wrong thing to you and your boyfriend."

"I know you would", Andrea said, his smile a little smaller now, and he took a slow sip from his tea, as if this was a scenario he didn't want to talk about further, or at least not right now.

 

They sat next to each other in silence for a moment, but a silence so much more comfortable than the one earlier, and after a moment, Ermal asked a question.

"How did you notice?"

"I, I don't really know? I guess the thought just was there in my brain one day, as if it always had been, and as much as I didn't want to believe it at first, somehow I still knew that it was true, even back then, you know? And then I did some research, googled, read things, and it just sounded.. right? There's this group for young LGBT+ people, and they've got some coming out stories from their members at their website, I read those, and the feelings they described, the thoughts, the worries, it just all sounded so incredibly.. relatable? And I guess that also was what finally gave me the courage to do this, to talk to you, because there was this one story where the dude wrote about how scared he had been to come out to his sister, and how well it went in the end, and so I thought to just.. give it a go I guess."

Ermal had nodded along during this explanation, offering his silent encouragement, and another question rose to the surface of his mind.

"This group you mentioned, have you ever been there yourself?"

"No, I haven't, I mean, I kind of wanted to", Andrea's eyes focused on the bowl of cookies, "but I guess the thought of meeting so many new people at once was intimidating, you know?"

"Would it help if I would join you there some day? Only if you'd want that of course, and if it would be okay for them-"

Andrea giggled. "I'm sure they won't throw you out of the house just because you're straight. And it would be lovely if you'd join me, really, thank you so much for the offer my friend."

"Anytime", and with that word, Ermal tried to say so much more than just that he'd accompany Andrea to meet the other queer people and hang out together.

"I know", Andrea answered with a smile, understanding, and then, pressed play on the remote control again.

They finished watching the movie, Andrea acting along to the famous scene with the jello and the velociraptor by using a trembling cookie, and once the credits had finished, they both smiled at each other. Just two friends enjoying another movie night, and yet, feeling their connection so much deeper than before.

After another cup of tea and a little talk about their physics homework, Ermal left, of course not without hugging Andrea tightly once more, and when he turned around to see his friend waving at him from the doorframe, both of their hearts felt light as if they'd try to fly away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this story is getting a little longer than originally planned, but knowing me, this shouldn't be a surprise 😁

On Tuesday morning, it was raining cats and dogs, resulting in Ermal reaching the school in soaking wet clothes and a rather sour mood, as well as the knowledge that he'd give pretty much everything for a pair of dry socks right now. He walked into the maths classroom, being a little bit early since the rain had caused his steps to hurry so much, and didn't sit down at his own table but at Andrea's, since it was right next to the heating. With a sigh, he leaned his shoulder against it, feeling the blessed warmth spreading through his arm, and he nearly might have been tempted to close his eyes, hadn't it been for the sound of someone giggling from above him. Ermal looked up from beneath dripping wet curls, and his face lit up like the sun breaking through the most vicious rain clouds once he spotted Andrea, and most importantly, once he spotted the hint of a smile on Andrea's lips, the tension that seemed to have left his body after being a steady companion for weeks, the happy glimmer in his eyes.

Ermal stood up from the chair with a smile of his own and wrapped Andrea close in his arms, ignoring his friend's protests about getting wet - it wasn't as if Andrea didn't look like he just had walked through a monsoon himself. Andrea's eyes then flickered towards the heating, and walked next to the desk to stand against it with his back, while Ermal sat back down.

"How are you feeling?", Ermal asked, an innocent question for the ears of their classmates slowly arriving, while his eyes seemed to say so much more.

"I'm good, really good. Yesterday evening helped me a lot", and before he could say more, the teacher walked into the room too, a constant stream of complaints about the weather sounding from underneath her breath.

Andrea left his spot at the heating, not without a mournful gaze back, and slid into the chair at Ermal's desk - their teacher never paid too much attention to the students anyways, and with their dark curls and a shared tendency to never open their mouths in maths class, Andrea doubted she'd notice.

 

Two hours of desperately searching for an x that didn't want to be found later, Ermal and Andrea shared some strawberry cake the former's mom had baked, and after fidgeting with one of the fruits in his hand for a while, Andrea started to speak.

"You remember what we talked about yesterday?", and even though it was clear that there was more to come to that statement, Ermal couldn't help the laugh escaping his mouth.

"Yes, I might have a vague memory", his tone rather fond than mocking.

"Oh shut up Ermal", Andrea answered while shaking his head, no malice in his voice either, "You remember that club I told you about? I've looked up dates at their website yesterday after you had left, and they've got a meeting tomorrow, so I thought, maybe, if you've got time and still are up to this, we could say hi there?"

Andrea made it sound like a nearly meaningless suggestion, as if he had asked if they should watch a Champions League match rather at his home or Ermal's, but years of close friendship had provided Ermal with the ability to still see the underlying nervousness in Andrea's eyes. And the joy once he told him that of course he still was up for this, and that he'd love to go there the next day. 

 

So on Wednesday, after Ermal had done his homework, he picked Andrea up from home, and together, they took the bus towards the address that Google had told him. The building in itself was very unspectacular, grey walls and three stores, but once the two young man walked inside, they heard soft music coming from somewhere upstairs, and, on the second floor, they spotted a door with a big rainbow flag hanging on it. Andrea stopped in his tracks and Ermal sought out his eyes, silently asking if this was okay, if he still wanted this. With a nod and a shaky smile, Andrea confirmed, and then, after a deep breath, walked towards the door in front of Ermal. He hesitated a second, unsure if he should just open it or not, but then decided on knocking. 

It didn't take long for the door to open, and a girl with bright pink curls smiled at them. 

"Ohh, new faces, how exiting!", she said, and then introduced herself, "My name's Carlotta, but people usually go with Caro, or Lotta, however you please, and it's so nice to meet you!" 

"Hi", Andrea answered, seemingly a little intimidated by her enthusiasm, "My name's Andrea, this is Ermal, and.. yeah."

Her smile softened a little, from enthusiastic to gentle, and she led both of them inside, walking in the middle and guiding them towards some comfy chairs in the middle of the room. 

Andrea sat down and looked around in fascination - there were maybe ten other young people there already, laughing together or impatiently waiting for the coffee machine to work, one tall boy was putting a new CD into the player, and a blond girl just was busy with placing muffins onto little plates. Everyone seemed to be relaxed, happy, and most importantly, _just themselves._ Andrea's eyes caught at the pink, purple and blue necklace that one of the boys was wearing, he saw how, once she was finished with the muffins, the blond girl walked over to the coffee machine to press a kiss to the cheek of a red haired girl in a dark plaid shirt, and every single rainbow flag displayed at any possible and impossible spot in the room caused Andrea's heart to beat a little faster in happiness. 

"Soo, it's your first time here, yes?", Carlotta's voice pulled him out of his thoughts, and Andrea shyly nodded. "Alright, wonderful, then what could I tell you? There's not much to know I guess; we meet here every Friday and every second Wednesday, like, that's the official times, but if you ever need a place to be, the room's pretty much always open during the days, and if you need someone to talk, there's usually an understanding ear and a warm hug to be found here. So if you enjoy it, come back whenever you feel like it, bring along friends, or some food, we always appreciate some nice snacks, and usually there's someone bringing something along. There's a list laying around somewhere, if you've got an idea and want other people to already look forward to experience your cookie baking skills on Friday, or something the like. Most of the time we just hang out, relax, sometimes we go to the cinema together or something the like, and ohh, next week there's something special, because on Friday, we've got our music night! Two good friends of mine will be playing, they're really talented, I'm sure you'll love it! And, hm, what else could I tell you? If you ever feel like you have too much money, donations are welcome, with paying rent and heating and stuff, but if you can't, that's okay too, you're still very welcome here. We sometimes do stuff like a flea market to raise some money, it usually works quite well. Okay, now I feel like I've talked quite a lot, I sometimes tend to do that; any questions left at the moment?"

"Not really, but thank you", Ermal said with a smile, and Carlotta laughed. 

"I should work on this talking too much thing, it sometimes tends to scare people away. But I hope you two will stay around, you both seem very nice", and with that, she stood up, winking at them, and then walked over to the finally cooperative coffee machine. 

 

Soon after, some people joined Ermal and Andrea at the cozy chairs, coffee in most of their hands, introductions were made, smiles exchanged, and very delicious muffins eaten. After some time and some more small talk, one of the girls, Ermal thought he had caught her name as Giada, remarked that the music had stopped, and the tall boy who already had seemed in charge of that earlier walked over towards the CD player. 

"Any special wishes?", he asked while rummaging through a basket filled with CDs, and Carlotta's eyes lit up. 

"Yes! Can you look for one of Fabri's CDs, pretty please?" 

"Sure", and shortly after, _Where the streets have no name_ started playing. 

Therewhile, Ermal rummaged through his brain - there had been a lot of people introducing themselves earlier, a lot of names to remember, but he couldn't put a face to that name, so he decided to ask Carlotta. 

"Lotta?", and it felt interesting to go with the nickname, even though everyone in the room seemed to call her by it - it nearly felt as if they were friends, even had been for some time already. And the thought made Ermal smile. 

"Yeah?", she turned towards him, fingers wrapped tightly around a black mug decorated with pink, yellow and blue little hearts. 

"Who's Fabri?", and Ermal looked around in expectation, as if Carlotta was about to point out a face to him, or as if one of the boys would raise his hand in recognition of his name and smile at him. But none of this happened. 

"Oh, Fabrizio, he's one of the people who founded this little club, like, it was him, Giada, Marco and me who had the idea a few years ago, and he's the absolute best, I'm sure you'd get along wonderfully! But he isn't here today, cause he's doing an internship half the country away; he's been gone for some weeks already, but we all hope he'll be back soon", and some people nodded along to her words, seemingly looking forward to seeing Fabrizio again too. 

While _I still haven't found what I'm looking for_ sounded through the room, Ermal stored this information in his brain, looking forward to meeting this Fabrizio. And then, he realized something. He only had come here to help Andrea with his nervousness, there would be no reason for him to return once Andrea had made friends here, and yet.. and yet, Ermal already caught himself going through his calendar in his mind, checking that he was free the next two Fridays. But that was something to worry about later - getting used to a new environment usually took longer than an afternoon, no matter how nice it was, so there certainly would be the need to accompany Andrea again. Ermal was his best friend after all, he'd do anything for him, and if he met a few nice people in the process, there certainly was no harm done. 

 

Time passed and some more people arrived, smiling at the newcomers, welcoming them into their little circle, and Ermal and Andrea exchanged a quick smile before both got back to making new friends. But then, when Ermal just was having a rather nice conversation with the boy in charge of the CD player, Pierfrancesco, he had introduced himself, about a book he recently had finished reading, Andrea tucked at his sleeve, and looked in Ermal’s direction with wide, nearly scared eyes. Alarmed, Ermal led Andrea towards the window, where they were out of the other people’s hearing range, and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder; noticing the paleness on Andrea’s cheeks with worry.

“Ermal? Can we go, please? Now?”

“Wh-, yes, of course we can, what’s wrong?”, Ermal asked, urgency dripping from his words, and he was rather confused to see a blush appearing on Andrea’s pale cheeks.

“He smiled.”

“What?”, full blown confusion now, and had Ermal had eyebrows, he would have raised them high enough to vanish in his curls.

“The cute guy. He smiled at me”, Andrea said, subtly looking towards a boy who had just gotten himself a glass of orange juice and walked back towards the couch area.

Ermal remembered him from the introduction: his name was Marco, he might be a year or two older than Andrea and him, and seemingly, he had been one of the people to create this lovely place. His smile at them had been warm and his welcoming words nice, but Ermal hadn’t thought more to it, especially since he shortly after started talking with Pierfrancesco, and Marco had walked away to say hello to some other friends. But seemingly, Andrea’s attention had stayed on him. And Ermal couldn’t fight a smirk at that.

“So, cute Marco smiled at you. And that’s.. a bad thing?”

“No! Yes! Hrgh, damnit, I don’t know, how can he just do this?”

“Hm, let me think Andrea, maybe he’s just nice? Or, who knows, maybe he thinks you’re cute too? I guess you could find that out if you’d just go over there and talk to him.”

“God, Ermal, sometimes I really hate you! Go over and have a conversation he says, as if that was so easy, and _you_ are really one to talk there. I’ll kindly remind you of this incredibly valid advice the next time you’re crushing at some girl at school, that you should just play it cool and _talk to her_.”

“Fine, fine, then don’t talk to him, just keep being all heart eyes; I’m sure that sooner or later, Marco will notice that too.”

“Remind me why I’m friends with you again?”, Andrea teased, before Ermal ruffled through his hair, and they both laughed, walking back towards the other people.

 

“Is everything okay?”, Pierfrancesco asked once Ermal sat down next to him again, and Ermal nodded.

“Yes, it’s all good, thank you”, Andrea said, very deliberately not looking in the direction where Marco sat. And thereby, also missing that Marco was stealing a glance at him here and there.

Pierfrancesco though didn’t miss those looks, as well as how uncharacteristically quiet Marco was today; as if being utterly distracted by something, or rather _someone_. And he just registered this with a little smile, planning to maybe ask Ermal about it at some point, if they’d continue to become friends.

It already was getting dark outside when there was a loud knock outside of the door, as if someone was using their foot rather than a hand to knock, and Giada went to open up, revealing.. from Ermal’s point of view, it looked like a bunch of pizza boxes flying in the air. But before confusion could properly kick in, Giada took those boxes and placed them on a table next to the door, revealing a fluffy haired boy in a flower shirt. The two of them hugged and he then walked towards the group, greeting his friends, eyes curiously getting caught on Ermal and Andrea, and Pierfrancesco took it upon himself to introduce them.

“Simone, those are Andrea and Ermal, they’re here the first time today, and I think we’d all agree that they’re a lovely addition to our little family”, and his bright smile while saying this, as well as Carlotta enthusiastically agreeing, warmed Ermal’s heart, “New friends, this is Simone, he’s my partner. In music I mean, we play together, we’re like a duo.”

And while Pierfrancesco seemed to stumble over his words, Ermal decided to try to safe him, extended a hand and said hello to Simone. The awkwardness quickly passed, and after Giada and Marco had gotten a bunch of plates for everyone, it was pizza time. Conversation flew lightly and Ermal was just enjoying it, having a good time around nice people, until suddenly, things got interesting.

“Could I..?”, he heard a voice, and looked up to see that it was Marco talking, sitting at the opposite side of the table from them and motioning towards the opened box filled with pizza funghi in front of Andrea.

“Oh, yes, of course, let me just-“, Andrea answered, hurrying to hand over the pizza, his cheeks blushing in a rather adorable way, and Ermal noticed with a satisfied smirk he managed to hide behind his glass of Fanta how Marco’s eyes lingered a second too long on Andrea to just be interested in the food. How nice.

 

After dinner, they didn’t stay too long, there was school in the next morning after all, and when they said goodbye, getting lots of hugs, Ermal found himself already looking forward to coming back here on Friday. And this was not only for the bright smile on his best friend’s face once they started walking towards home together…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still all happy and smiley from the reunion yesterday, gosh, this was so lovely 💕


	3. Chapter 3

It was a cloudy Friday afternoon, and Andrea, sitting at his bedroom carpet with crossed legs, sighed deeply, looking at the books surrounding him in despair.

"Think they'll tell you what we need to know, if you give them your puppy eyes long enough?", Ermal's voice sounded from above; he had walked back to where Andrea was sitting on the floor with two tea mugs in his hands.

"Usually, this works quite well, doesn’t it?", Andrea answered, and then looked up at Ermal with exactly those eyes.

And yes, Ermal had to admit, there was some magic to those; quite a few stupid things he had done in the previous years were exclusively to be blamed on the convincing abilities of Andrea's eyes. He shook his head, to get rid of the image of both of them lost and without their shoes in Torino, and then sat down opposite from Andrea, handing him a mug and taking the book his friend gave him in exchange. They were working at a chemistry project together, one that was due until next week, and so far, their progress could be summarized as the title drawn in colourful letters, and Ermal having shared the idea for a new song with Andrea. Not quite what would help them to get a good grade, but after some more minutes and confused looks at the descriptions of various experiments, they decided to meet up for this again on Sunday. Because today, they still had plans, and hadn't Ermal been looking forward to it himself, maybe glancing at the clock now and then, the nervous drumming of Andrea's fingers would have reminded him.

"You ready to go?", Ermal asked, after a look at the app for the bus times, and Andrea hurried to his feet, vanishing in the bathroom.

"It'll be just a minute!", he called from the inside, and Ermal put on his shoes and jacket. And waited. And waited.

After what must have been nearly ten minutes, Ermal carefully knocked at the bathroom door, his forehead wrinkled in worry.

"Andrea? Buddy, you alright in there?"

The door opened, Ermal nearly falling through it with the sudden support of the wood he had been leaning against vanishing, and after a moment of finding his balance again, he was faced with Andrea. Andrea, who was blushing quite hard, and whose hair looked rather nice. To an outsider, this might have seemed to be a look that took no effort, but Ermal, quite familiar with curls himself, was aware that this wasn't too easy to achieve, to make one's curls look so fluffy and pretty. And Ermal couldn't help a laugh, when after a second of confusion, he realized what was the reason behind that. Andrea blushed even harder at that, and tried to avoid Ermal's eyes.

"It's not what you're thinking!"

"Oh? And what _am_ I thinking?", Ermal asked, amusement slipping into his voice.

"Nothing!"

"Hmm, there might be times when I'm thinking nothing, but right now, I can't help the thoughts of a certain-"

"A certain no one! There isn't, not at all, damnit Ermal, can't you just leave it be!"

Ermal raised his hands in surrender, quickly checking if Andrea actually was upset with him, but the other boy didn't look angry, rather embarrassed. And a moment later, he buried his face in Ermal's shoulder, wrapping his arms around his friend.

"This is so ridiculous", Andrea whined into Ermal's shoulder, getting his carefully styled hair ruffled in return.

"It's not ridiculous, it's cute. You're cute when you're nervous, and you know what? I can imagine that Marco might think the very same."

Andrea made an unidentifiable noise before stepping out of the hug, looking into Ermal's eyes now, vulnerability shining out of his own.

"You really think so?"

"Yes. Just try to talk to him today, okay? You're adorable, he seemed like a nice dude, just see if you get along. And who knows what might become of it", Ermal said, before clapping Andrea's shoulder, motioning him to go.

With a nod, one that seemed to be mostly to convince himself, Andrea followed Ermal, then took a moment to decide on which pair of shoes to wear ( _"If the most important thing about you for him are your shoes then Marco's too stupid for you!"_ ), and once they finally stepped outside, they of course had missed the bus that Ermal had planned on taking.

 

When Ermal and Andrea finally arrived at the youth club's home, it was nearly half an hour later than they had planned, and they hurried up the stairs, Andrea then knocking at the door, still a little out of breath. But, how Ermal noticed, without any hesitation, and he smiled at that, at how _happy_ Andrea was about finding this place filled with kind souls.

Somehow, Ermal had expected that Carlotta would be the one to open the door again, but she wasn't, and when he spotted the face peeking out of the opening door, Ermal had to bite his tongue not to chuckle. Because it was Marco who was looking at them, Marco in a wine-red sweater that suited him nicely, and Marco, whose whole face lit up once his eyes found Andrea.

"Andrea, hi, how nice that you're back!", he said, before opening the door further, taking a step away from it to make room for Andrea.

Andrea moved into the room, clapping Marco's shoulder a little awkwardly while passing him, and Ermal couldn't even be upset about how he seemed to have vanished into invisibility, not with how adorable those two were behaving. He followed them, his eyes scanning through the room - everything looked pretty much like two days ago, except for the fact that some people had gathered around in little groups with boardgames. Once she noticed the newcomers, Carlotta jumped up from where she had been kneeling in front of a Monopoly board, and when she hugged Ermal hello, she leaned towards his ear and whispered a few words.

"What's up with those two?", and there was no clarification needed for Ermal to know exactly about whom she might be talking.

Ermal just winked at her, and after exchanging a knowing smile with Carlotta, he continued his way, and finally, after some more hellos, sat down next to Giada, who tried her best to explain the rather obscure card game they were playing to Ermal. How well she succeeded with that, Ermal wasn’t sure about – either he didn’t understand it even after playing two rounds, or it simply was the weirdest game to ever be invented, with rules that weren’t even supposed to make sense. However, it was fun, and Ermal was in a very good mood when they decided on a game of Monopoly next.

 

More and more people decided to join in, so after a moment of consideration, Simone had the idea to play in teams of two. Ermal assumed that this would pair him with Andrea, who had sat down next to him after an earlier chess match against Pierfrancesco, but suddenly, Giada slid in the little empty space between them at the sofa.

“Ermal, wanna be my teammate?”, and with the wink that Giada added to that question, Ermal suddenly had an idea of what was going on.

So he nodded, and Andrea, who had silently followed their conversation, looked around. Simone and Pierfrancesco already were discussing which streets best to buy, Anna and Giuseppe sat next to each other at the floor, and Marco and Carlotta shared a couch that actually seemed a little too small for two people, so the curly haired boy was a little lost. But of course, things didn’t stay like this, and Ermal was anything but surprised.

“I’m gonna be the referee!”, Carlotta announced loudly, and Ermal had to bite his cheek on the inside to fight a chuckle.

“Referee? Since when does Monopoly need a referee?”, and of course it was Andrea who asked this, since everyone else seemed to have realized what the girls were up to some time ago. Especially Marco, whose face colour more and more resembled his red sweater.

“Oh Andrea, you don’t know how those heathens like to cheat, we certainly need a referee! So, let me see, we’ve got four teams then”, Carlotta looked around seriously, and Ermal wondered if she was active in a theatre group maybe, with how convincing that was, “Anna and Giuseppe, Ermal and Giada, Simon and Pierfunkel, so that leaves.. Marco and Andrea, yes? Come on Andrea, let’s change places, this makes it easier for me to be able to have a good look at the whole board.”

Andrea sat down next to Marco without looking him in the eyes, his cheeks blushing as well when their thighs touched, and it wasn’t too much of a surprise that they weren’t the team to win the match of Monopoly. They seemed way too distracted by each other’s closeness, and when Andrea actually started _giggling_ when they bought their first house together, shyly suggesting that they could place it on the street together, and Marco’s eyes first couldn’t leave the younger one’s face, and then not their fingers, oh so carefully _not_ touching while setting down the tiny house, Ermal couldn’t fight the fond smile anymore, nearly splitting his face in halves. Which of course neither Andrea nor Marco did notice, as there were way more interesting things to see so much closer.

In the end, Pierfrancesco and Simone did win, high-five-ing before Carlotta handed them a bar of chocolate as a winner’s price, and soon after, both of them said goodnight, needing to catch a tram to a further away part of the city. Carlotta, Anna and Giuseppe then started a game of poker at the table next to the window, their laughter being carried through open curtains into the slowly darkening sky; Marco and Andrea were busy _not_ looking at each other while having a cup of tea together, and at the sofa, Giada swung an arm around Ermal’s shoulders.

“At least we didn’t come in the last place.”

“Well”, Ermal started, while comfortably leaning into her side-hug, “I feel like that wasn’t much of a challenge today, with where the attention of certain people was.”

At that, Giada chuckled. “Indeed, indeed. But Ermal, as adorable as they are – you’ve known Andrea for a long time already, right? Does he often get crushes like this?”

Ermal could hear the sudden seriousness swinging underneath Giada’s voice, and he took a moment of thinking before answering. 

“He doesn’t. Andrea is one of the kindest souls I’ve ever met, and we’ve been best friends since he was 12 and I 13, when I was the kid with the weird accent and the haunted eyes that no one else wanted to sit next to at school. But Andrea did, because he just is like this - he actually sees the people behind their facades, and when he spots a good person, he’s the most loyal friend you can imagine. And I can tell you, as long as I’ve known him, I’ve never seen him looking at anyone with such hearteyes like he does at Marco. I see how close you and him are, but please Giada, try to believe me when I say that Andrea is not the person to just go and break your friend’s heart.”

“I do”, Giada answered, squeezing Ermal’s shoulders with a soft smile, and at his confused glance, added: “Believe you, that is. And I’m rooting for them, cause damn, don’t we all wish that someone would look at us like this?”

Ermal looked up, right to see Andrea softly laughing about something that Marco had said, and nodded.

“Yes, yes we do”, and if there was a hint of melancholy in Ermal’s voice, Giada didn’t comment on it.

 

When Andrea and Ermal prepared to leave about half an hour later, Marco guided them towards the door, and smiled at them.

“We’ll see each other next Friday, right?”

“For the music evening? Yes, of course!”, Andrea agreed, the smile he shot at Marco speaking of how it was not only the music that made him look forward to the next meeting.

“I’m sure you’ll like it, they’re pretty good. Even if the name is a little ridiculous.”

“Simon and Pierfunkel? Oh come on Marco, that’s genius!”, and when both of them started laughing, Ermal thought about what a pretty melody that painted; the laughter of two people so into each other mixing together in nothing but carefreeness.

“Maybe it is, a tiny bit. But it’s not as good as their songs are. Anyways, Ermal? You’ll be there too?”, and for the first time this evening, Marco’s whole attention seemed to be on someone who wasn’t Andrea.

Ermal opened his mouth, and then stopped. Because he once again remembered the reason he had come here: as a support for Andrea. To be there for his best friend, who had been scared to come here alone and be faced with so many unknown people. His best friend, who now had a lovely young man looking at him with eyes saying that he’d try to lift the earth out of its hinges if Andrea asked him for it, and who had found a bunch of amazing new friends. His best friend, who certainly would be fine coming back here on his own on the next Friday. And yet, Ermal didn’t want to say No. 

“Ermal?”

“I’ll try to make it, yeah, I think I’ll be there”, he finally said, escaping the knowing look in Andrea’s eyes with his own.

“Great!”, and when Marco quickly hugged him, Ermal hugged him back, like he would do with a friend. Because maybe, Marco was exactly that. Or at least could be, at some point.

Andrea of course also got a hug from Marco, a little longer, and after some waving, the two boys walked down the stairs together, in silence, until they could see the bus stop. And the bus, looking ready to drive off.

“Oh no, don’t you dare-“, Ermal muttered, and then both of them started running, as fast as they could, to still catch the bus.

Luckily, the driver seemed to have seen them, because the bus did wait for them, and when both Andrea and Ermal thanked him after showing their tickets, he just nodded at the boys. They found two empty seats in the middle of the bus, and after they had caught their breath a little, Andrea looked at Ermal, nothing but sympathy in his eyes.

“You don’t _have_ to come with me again on the next Friday, you know that, yes?”

“I do.”

“But you want to?”, and the knowing, gentle smile on Andrea’s face now was one of the reasons why Ermal loved his best friend to pieces.

“Yes, I think so. It’s just.. I don’t know, it feels so nice there? Like, nearly like a place to _belong_ , even if I’m, well, if I’m not…”

“Ermal, hey, relax. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – no one will throw you out there just because you’re straight, especially not now, when they know what a cool dude you are. It’s some hanging out between people who like each other, and come on, there’s gonna be music, what more could you wish for?”

“You’re right”, Ermal agreed, his eyes fixed on the city lights passing in a blur outside of the window; whites, yellows and occasional reds and greens creating a symphony of colours outshining the dark.

When Ermal looked back at Andrea, he noticed a certain dreamy expression on his friend’s face, and there was no need to ask whom he might be thinking about, to make him look like this. No need at all.

 

The following week passed quickly, and mostly uneventful – after they actually had put an effort into it on Sunday, their chemistry presentation went better than expected; Andrea spent most of his free time writing an essay for Spanish class, and when Ermal finished his shift on Thursday and got handed his paycheck for the month, he invited his siblings to the cinema in the evening. Once school ended on Friday, Ermal hurried home, for a change of clothes, and after a minute of consideration, he decided on a pair of ripped jeans and a dark shirt with the tour dates of a rather unknown Finnish band he liked on the back, shielded from the cold evening air by his leather jacket. He kissed his mom’s cheek, told her that he was going to a music evening with Andrea (though not _where_ , because it didn’t feel like something _he_ should tell her; over the years, Andrea nearly had become a part of the family, and if he wanted Mira to know, he would tell her himself, of that Ermal was sure), and then promised to be home before midnight. Shortly after, he met Andrea at the bus stop, this time, not commenting on how nice his hair did look, and for once, they nearly were too early at the club room.

Ermal helped Pierfrancesco to put up his music equipment while Andrea went to help Giada with the snacks, and quickly, more and more people filled the room, way more than Ermal had seen here before – seemingly, a lot of young music fans were interested in what Pierfrancesco and Simone would come up with, and Ermal was excited, in general as well as for them.

At 8, Carlotta stepped up onto the pallets they used as an improvised stage, and swung a spoon she seemed to have brought along exactly for this purpose against her glass. Most of the talking in the room went silent, and she smiled, before giving a short welcoming speech, in which she told about how happy she was to see so many familiar faces, as well as new ones, and to have such an amazing musical act there for the night. Accompanied by applause, Simone and Pierfrancesco stepped on the stage, both hugging Carlotta quickly, and Ermal smiled at Marco standing next to him, receiving a thumbs up in return. Then, when Simone played the first note on his guitar, all of Marco’s attention got captured by the music, and yes, Ermal was sure that they could become friends.

 

Ermal was having an amazing time; enjoying the songs that were even better than expected, the two talented musicians on stage, the great atmosphere, and he imagined the evening to continue like this, but then, something happened. Pierfrancesco had just finished singing a song called “Il Paradiso”, Ermal’s favourite so far, and was about to start the next, when the door of the room opened, which probably would have gone unnoticed by most people in the audience, hadn’t it been for Giada’s squeal. She stormed towards the entrance and threw herself at the person that had entered, getting swung around in return, her feet leaving the ground for a moment, and Ermal didn’t see much of the other person except for a fleeting glance at a rather ugly olive-green jacket.

Carlotta soon after joined the hug at the door, and even the two on stage left their guitars to go say hello, so Ermal was really curious about who might have arrived. He wanted to ask Marco, but he seemed to have vanished as well, and Ermal shrugged a little; seemingly, he’d have to wait to find out what was going on there. 

Ermal’s eyes wandered around a little and then fixed on the little stage, and he got lost in a daydream of playing on a stage himself one day, maybe even a bigger one than this, with people singing along to his songs with happiness in their eyes; and while he just tried to imagine how wonderful this must feel, Ermal suddenly found himself being hugged. The unexpected touch quickly shook him out of his dream, and when he didn’t recognize the hint of chaotic black hair in his vision, he froze. Who in the world might be this unknown person that just suddenly decided to hug him, all out of the blue?

As soon as Ermal’s body went stiff, the other person noticed, released him, and soon after, he was looking into soft, apologetic eyes in a deep brown, shining out of a face looking a little embarrassed, if the blush on his cheeks was any sign to go by.

“Oh damn, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I’ve been thinking, to randomly attack you like this, or, well, I rather know that I haven’t been thinking at all; it’s just that it feels like I’ve just hugged every single person in this room hello, and I didn’t realize at first that I don’t actually know you, though I don’t know how I could, since you are so-, ähm, well, I’m really sorry, I promise to not just hug you without a warning again. Anyways, my name is Fabrizio, and I talk a little too much when I’m nervous.”

After he finished talking, the young man, Fabrizio it seemed, nervously ran a hand through his already messy hair, and smiled at Ermal in a rather cute way. Ermal just looked at him - a tired face that might be considered attractive, those soft eyes, his full lips, hair nearly reaching his shoulders, this terrible oversized jacket and a leather backpack, and after a moment, Ermal smiled too.

“Hi. My name’s Ermal, and I’m okay with being hugged, as long as I know the other person.”

He offered his hand, and Fabrizio’s tanned fingers shook it, his smile turning a little more relaxed. And somewhere, in the back of his mind, Ermal registered that this smile was beautiful.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me a while and a lot of thoughts to write, and it's important to me - I hope that it's okay how it turned out, and that you'll like it. Warmest thanks to Marjo, Lisa and Tjaša for your support, and your enthusiasm, that really helped! ❤️

After Fabrizio let go of Ermal’s hand, he quickly got snatched away by Marco, sparing a last smile at Ermal, and then the newcomer was gone. Ermal stayed behind, listening along to the music, though his thoughts weren’t focused on it anymore. 

“Heyyy”, Andrea’s voice sounded close to Ermal’s ear, his friend leaning his head on his shoulder, “they’re great, aren’t they?”

“Yeah, I really like their songs, and Pier’s got an amazing voice.”

“He does! Oh, and did you meet Fabrizio?”

“Yes”, Ermal confirmed, thinking back of their unusual encounter, “We only talked for a little moment, but he really seemed nice.”

“He has to be, Marco was all excited about Fabrizio getting back from his internship, he talked about him all the time.”

“ _All_ the time?”, and when Ermal turned towards Andrea, he saw the blush on his cheeks even in the low light.

“Well, maybe not the whole time...”

“No?”, Ermal asked with a fond grin.

“No. He mentioned that he likes my hair”, and Andrea tried to hide a giggle.

“I’m happy for you.”

“Oh shut up”, Andrea answered, leaning into Ermal’s arm around his shoulders, “I don’t even know what this is, but it feels good.”

The last few words were so low that Andrea wasn’t sure if Ermal heard them above the music, but in any case, he seemed to have gotten the message underneath, judged by the smile he hid in Andrea’s curls.

 

Once Pierfrancesco and Simone had received an enthusiastic round of applause after their last song and an extra one after playing “Il Paradiso” again, people started to leave, smiles on their faces and stars in their eyes. Ermal realized just how tired he was in the moment that Giada turned on the lights again and he had to blink against them, and a glance towards his watch revealed that it already was rather late, and he should be back home soon.

“Hey, can we g- Andrea?”

Ermal looked around in confusion for his suddenly vanished friend – there were fewer people in the room now, but still too many to easily spot a familiar head of curls, and he sighed. While his thoughts drifted towards the comfort of his soft bed, Ermal went towards the kitchen, hoping that Andrea might have just wanted to grab a glass of water, but in there, he also couldn’t see his friend.

“Andrea?”

“Hey, you’re looking for someone?”, a deep voice sounded from behind Ermal, and he turned around to see Fabrizio standing there, looking at him out of his dark eyes.

“Fabrizio, hi! Yes, I’m searching for Andrea; I wanted to go home, but now I can’t find him anymore, and I just want to go to bed.”

For a moment, it was silent, an expression that Ermal couldn’t decipher in Fabrizio’s eyes, and then he looked around too.

“Andrea is the one with the curls and the purple sweater, right?”

“Yeah, you met?”

Fabrizio shook his head, and Ermal wished they knew each other, because again, there seemed to be a few different emotions swirling around in the other’s face that he couldn’t make sense of.

“We didn’t, not really, but Marco might have mentioned him..”

“Ohh, did he?”, and Ermal noticed that Fabrizio seemed to be surprised about his smile.

“Yeah.”

“They’re cute”, and Fabrizio’s confusion only seemed to grow at that remark of Ermal, but he was too tired at the moment to think about this in details. And it turned out that he didn’t have to, because right in that moment, no one but Andrea himself turned up.

 

“Who is cute?”, he asked, curious eyes peaking out from underneath his curls.

“No one is”, Ermal laughed, and then quickly changed the topic, “You haven’t met Fabrizio yet?”

Andrea turned towards Fabrizio with a smile, and they shook hands, while Ermal thought back of how very different he had met the boy with the chaotic hair and the terrible jacket. Who, apart from that, seemed to be rather nice.

A yawn escaped Ermal’s lips, and both Fabrizio and Andrea turned towards him.

“You wanna go home?”, Andrea asked, and Ermal nodded.

He was just about to start with a good night when Fabrizio opened his mouth, and his question seemed to surprise each of the three of them, even himself.

“Do you live together?”

“Who lives together with whom?”

“You and Andrea”, and that explanation somehow made even less sense to Ermal’s ears.

“Oh no, we’re both living with our families, and let me tell you, I couldn’t imagine a worse flatmate than Ermal here”, Andrea added with a wink.

“Hey!”, Ermal playfully boxed his friend’s shoulder, and Fabrizio seemed even more lost.

“Flatmates? So you’re not a couple?”

“ _What?_ No, we’re not, not at all, he’s like my brother, that would be, no”, and while Andrea explained that with a laugh, something in Ermal’s mind clicked.

This at least partly explained Fabrizio’s earlier confusion. If he had been assuming that him and Andrea were dating, that surely had been conflicting after hearing Marco talk about Andrea and his wonderful curls, and maybe Fabrizio had just been worried that Ermal would get his heart broken, or confused why he didn’t seem to care about one of Fabrizio’s friends being interested in whom he assumed to be Ermal’s boyfriend. Now, Ermal saw nothing but an honest smile in Fabrizio’s face, and he was glad that they had been able to explain this. How very much they weren’t a couple, and that Andrea was very single. And just as curiously looking into Marco’s direction as Marco was.

“Okay, alright, so you’re friends”, Fabrizio concluded, and Ermal noticed how refreshing it was that there was not an apology following, even though he nearly had expected one. And how sad that was, it shot through Ermal’s mind, that it seemed to be the thing he saw coming. As if it would be a bad thing to assume that Andrea and him might be a couple.

“Yes, we are, best friends”, and Ermal ruffled Andrea’s curls with fondness.

“That’s wonderful. And I’m happy you’re a part of our little family now.”

“We are too”, Andrea answered with a smile, and Ermal couldn’t help the burst of happiness in his heart; seeing the carefree joy on his best friend’s face now, and remembering the fear there just a few days ago, when he first had told Ermal his truth.

“Have you already heard about the plan for Wednesday?”

“No?”, and Andrea’s eyes widened in excitement, causing Fabrizio to chuckle.

“We actually planned for a movie night, but now the weather report looks really good, so Giada had the idea to go out for ice cream before. Would you be up for that? We said to meet around three.”

“That should work for me”, Ermal said after a second of thinking, “I only got one class after lunch, and no shift at the restaurant on Wednesday, we should be there.”

“Amazing! Andrea, what about you?”

“Well, I’d love to come, but I actually had planned to prepare my presentation for physics on Wednesday afternoon before coming here, I’m not sure if I should-“, and he trailed off.

“It’s your decision of course, but working too much certainly is not recommended, especially if the alternative is going to Marco’s fave ice cream place.”

Andrea probably thought that he had disguised his increasing interest at the mentioning of Marco’s name well, but it escaped neither Ermal’s nor Fabrizio’s attention, and when Ermal looked at the older boy who had a hint of mischief dancing in his eyes, he suspected that this wasn’t a coincidence. It didn’t take Andrea long to promise that he’d be there for the ice cream too, and both him and Ermal hugged Fabrizio after saying good night, though it only was a very brief and careful hug, compared to Ermal’s first. On the bus ride home, Andrea leaned his head on Ermal’s shoulder, and when he asked him a question, Ermal only smiled warmly.

“Did I tell you yet that Marco likes my hair?”

 

On Wednesday, the little group met in front of the ice cream shop, Giada had texted Ermal the address, and since school ended earlier for him than for Andrea and he still had had to go to the CD store close to the gelateria, he was there earlier than his friend, and alone for once. That changed soon though, because after just a moment of watching the happy smiles of children freshly equipped with ice cream and their parents who were just as excited, but hiding it better, because they felt like they had to, Ermal heard a voice.

“Ermal, hi!”, and when he turned around, he saw two people approaching.

Giada was waving at him, her smiling pink lips perfectly matching her coat, large sunglasses hiding her eyes, and next to her, their arms linked, walked Fabrizio. Ermal had recognized him immediately, because he remembered his smile from last Friday, but apart from that, he looked quite different. Most important, that hideous jacket was gone (Ermal hoped forever), together with a main part of the tiredness in his face – Fabrizio seemed relaxed, his eyes warmly looking at Ermal, and his hair still resembled a gravity-defying chaos, but in a very soft way. Both him and Giada looked great, and Ermal wondered for a second how he had managed to end up with a bunch of such good-looking friends.

They said their hellos, Giada kissed Ermal’s cheek and while they hugged Ermal noticed that Fabrizio’s hair did not only look but also smell really nice. Giada had just started telling a story about one of her university classes when Marco got there, shortly after followed by Simone, Pierfrancesco and Carlotta, who mentioned that both Anna and Giuseppe had texted her, to tell that they wouldn’t be able to make it today.

“Okay, are we still waiting for anyone?”, Simone asked, looking around in their little circle.

“Isn’t Andrea going to join us?”, and interestingly, Carlotta directed that question at Marco, who blushed on the spot.

“I, I thought so, at least Fabri said – Ermal, do you know if he-?”

After biting his lip not to chuckle, Ermal nodded, and assured the others, but mostly a certain Marco looking at him, that surely, Andrea would be there soon, and so he was indeed. 

 

“I’m so sorry, I missed the bus and then had to run to the next station and then some dude discussed for _ages_ that he should be allowed to take his bike along onto the bus, I swear I planned to be on time”, and in the moment that Andrea needed to catch his breath after his rushed speech, everyone else assured him that it was alright.

Ermal was just about to follow Giada and Simone towards the ice cream when he heard Marco gasp, and turned around towards him and Andrea. The curly haired boy’s face showed confusion while Marco’s had cracked into worry, and Ermal was just as lost about the reason as his best friend. At least for a moment.

“Andrea? Are you okay?”, Marco asked, carefully, and when two pairs of dark eyes followed his, they saw how Marco’s eyes were focused on the sleeve of Andrea’s sweater.

And Ermal understood. Hadn’t he himself been part of Andrea’s art class in the morning and witnessed how his friend had managed to spray red paint all over his sleeve instead of it becoming the lighthouse he wanted to place on top of the cliff he had painted earlier, he too would have gotten worried about the pattern of dark red on Andrea’s clothes. And his friend seemed to realize what Marco must be thinking just a second later than Ermal, his hand immediately reaching out to touch Marco’s arm, as if in reassurance.

“Aw damn, please don’t worry, nothing happened there, it’s just a stupid accident from art class”, and Andrea tried to laugh the issue away, but there still was a hint of worry in Marco’s glance, so he ruffled up his sleeve, to show Marco his skin, “See? It’s all fine, I’m not hurt, nothing happened.”

“I’m very glad”, Marco whispered, and when Ermal saw his fingers vanishing in his jeans’ pockets, as if he’d try to keep them from reaching out to touch Andrea’s skin, he decided that this moment certainly wasn’t his to be part of.

 

Ermal joined Fabrizio in the ice cream queue, and just when he had spotted with joy that they offered homemade lemon ice cream, Ermal became aware of a problem.

“Ah, shit, shitshitshit”, he murmured under his breath, of course catching Fabrizio’s attention with this.

“What happened?”, the older one asked, raising an eyebrow in concern.

“Hrgh, I had put my money in my jacket’s pocket earlier cause I’m never able to find my wallet inside my backpack, especially not when I need it quickly to pay somewhere, and now-“, and Ermal, with a sigh, showed Fabrizio the hole in his jacket’s pocket, explaining the situation better than words could.

“Oh no, that sucks, did you have a lot of money in there?”

“No, not really”, Ermal said, trying not to think about how the 20€ in his pocket indeed were a lot to him and his family, “It could be worse, I’ll just skip the ice cream then.”

“Shush, of course you’re not, you’re invited.”

“Fabrizio, that really isn’t nece-“

“It is. Now, do you want to order something, or should I pick for you?”

“You really don’t have to-“

With a roll of his eyes, Fabrizio turned away from Ermal and towards the counter, ordering there: “Ciao, I’d like the yoghurt-cherry ice cream please, and lemon for my friend.”

The girl behind the counter took Fabrizio’s money and handed over the ice cream with a lot of looking at him from beneath her lashes, which Fabrizio didn’t seem to care about too much though, and once they had walked outside, he handed Ermal the lemon ice cream. Ermal’s eyes got caught at Fabrizio’s nails – they were painted in a light blue, a detail he had not noticed before, and there was something endearing about the sight, the soft and cold colour against his sun-kissed skin. And something brave, about wearing it.

“Sorry, if you don’t like the lemon we also can switch, or I can get you something else”, Fabrizio started, seemingly having interpreted Ermal staying silent and not taking of the ice cream as something else than a suddenly found fascination with his fingers.

“Oh, no, it’s fine, perfect actually!”, Ermal was quick to say, taking the ice cream with a smile and a little brushing of their fingers, and added, nearly shy: “It’s my favourite, actually.”

“Wow, that’s good then!”, and Fabrizio started walking towards where their friends had gathered around a tree.

“Thank you, really”, Ermal said right before sitting down at the ground with crossed legs next to Carlotta, and Fabrizio smiled at him once more, pink ice cream at his lips.

“You’re welcome”, and Fabrizio dropped down across from him, his back to the tree.

Once Ermal tried his ice cream, he hummed in delight; this really was a joy, and he doubted he’d ever had better lemon ice cream.

“It’s good?”

“Yes, very”, Ermal answered Fabrizio’s question, and then, after a second of deliberation, added: “You want to try?”

“Oh, yes, thank you”, and for some reason, a light blush appeared on Fabrizio’s cheeks when he tasted the lemon ice cream that Ermal offered while leaning over, “It’s really amazing. You want to try mine as well?”

“Sure”, now it was Ermal’s turn to lean a little closer to Fabrizio, “Hmm, sweet, I like this.”

“Me too, the sweetness is really nice.”

Ermal then got swept up in a conversation with Carlotta, too distracted to notice that for once, it weren’t only Marco and Andrea who got rather interesting glances from their friends.

 

The taste of lemon ice cream still filled Ermal's senses when he walked up the stairs next to Simone about half an hour later, and once they got back into the club room, the one that Ermal tried not too much to think of as _ours_ , he got himself a pillow from the sofa and sat down on it in the windowsill; enjoying the fresh air surrounding him, a bright echo of the spring afternoon they just had enjoyed outsides. Ermal let his legs hang in the air, watching the other people, his friends, gather back inside - Fabrizio now with a lowkey terrible hat on top of his hair, and it was rather a mystery to Ermal where he might have gotten this suddenly, Pierfrancesco, as usual, being the one to put on a CD, Carlotta wiping away a hint of ice cream from Giada's chin with a smile. Everyone was so calm, so _relaxed_ , and while Ermal was just sitting there, not even talking to anyone, he still felt a part of it somehow. And that thought caused him to smile, deeply, and to swing his legs through the air with a little more joy. 

After a moment, Andrea joined him, two glasses of apple juice in his hands, and after handing Ermal one, he just leaned against the wall next to him, not a word needed between them. Ermal smiled even brighter, and couldn't resist leaning closer, to ruffle Andrea's hair quite thoroughly, earning him a laugh and a wannabe accusing gaze from his friend. Laughing himself, Ermal hopped down from the window, to get better access for more hair ruffling, and somehow, Andrea and him ended up arm in arm, leaning against each other, both breathing heavily from laughing.

"Ermal?", Andrea said, his voice not quite as humorous as Ermal would have expected in the situation.

"Yes?"

"Thank you. For everything."

"Andrea-", Ermal started, but words were difficult, so he just held him a little closer, and pressed a quick kiss into his friend's curls.

When Ermal looked up again, most people had gathered up at the sofas, except for Carlotta, who was standing next to a little table, and for the two boys leaning at the opposite wall. Two pairs of dark eyes quickly looking away as Ermal looked up, and he couldn't help the impression that Marco and Fabrizio had been watching them. Or rather, had been watching Andrea, seen as how enamored by him Marco seemed, and Fabrizio, as his friend of a long time, who hadn't had too much of a chance before to meet Andrea, certainly was curious. So it would make sense for the two of them to watch their interactions, and Ermal hoped that Fabrizio too would see the brightness shining from Andrea's laugh, and how his eyes seemed to light up every time he was around Marco. And if Fabrizio loved Marco just half as much as Ermal loved Andrea, then he surely too would wish those two lovebirds the happiest of ends.

Ermal still was lost in thoughts when Fabrizio looked up again, their gazes meeting, and he shot a little smile across the room. One that got answered by Fabrizio, even brighter, and maybe he had just thought of something funny, because Ermal got the impression that Fabrizio's cheeks were turning a little darker.

 

“Heyhey, listen up for a moment!”, Carlotta interrupted Ermal’s thoughts, and once she had the attention of all of her friends, she smiled, and held up a little something in her hand, glistening in bright colours in the setting sun that shone through the window.

“So, some of you might know that my aunt owns this jewelry store, I sometimes help her out there, and she had those really cool leftover pearls, so I made a few little somethings in the evenings there, thinking of all of you. Yeah, so, just have a look, and if you like one of the pins, consider it a gift from me.”

Curious, Ermal and Andrea gathered closer, together with all the others, and Ermal looked in awe at what Carlotta had made and laid out on the table. There were colourful little pins, various motives, and, most importantly, they all were done in the design of different pride flags. Ermal recognized them, after a night of research right after Andrea had come out to him, and he smiled when he saw Fabrizio sticking a star in pink, yellow and blue to his hat all excited, and then hugging Carlotta tight, with a kiss on both of her cheeks. Simone and Pierfrancesco both picked out a clef, Giada a heart in pan colours as well, and when Andrea took a heart in rainbow colours carefully in his fingers to have a closer look at it, Ermal suddenly had slight troubles to swallow.

“Do you like it?”, Carlotta asked, her smile as gentle as one could imagine.

“I do”, and Andrea still looked at the rainbow heart, “I love it. And I really can have it?”

“Of course, it would be my pleasure if it can make you smile.”

Andrea tried to stick the heart to his jacket’s chest pocket, but this seemed harder than he thought it to be, and just when Ermal was about to ask if his friend might need some help, Carlotta already had dragged Andrea over to the window, to have some good light while helping Andrea with his pin.

Ermal looked at the other pins left at the table, out of curiosity, admiring the craftmanship that Carlotta had put into them all, and just when he wanted to pick up a rainbow coloured butterfly to look at it, he heard a low plinging sound, as if something had fallen to the ground. He leaned down, and after a moment, spotted the pin next to one of the table’s legs, that he probably had sent flying down without noticing it. Carefully, he picked it up, and looked at the tiny animal. It was a wolf, in pink, purple and blue, and it was extraordinarily beautiful. Promising himself to tell Carlotta what a talent she had there, Ermal laid the wolf pin down again, and just when he was about to turn away from the table again, he noticed something. And that was Marco’s glance at the pins, his rather empty glance, and had they known each other better, Ermal would have asked him what was wrong right away. But they had met only recently, and Ermal was unsure of how to help, so he just kept looking at Marco, who still stared pretty lost at the pins. 

“Look how cute this is!”, Andrea’s enthusiastic voice caused Ermal to look up, and indeed, the little rainbow heart right in the middle of his chest pocket, above his actual heart, did look adorable.

“It is, I love it!”

“Andrea?”, Marco’s voice caused both the boy in question as well as Ermal to turn towards him, “Can we, can we talk for a moment? Alone?”, all quiet, and to Ermal it seemed as if it cost Marco everything he had to keep his words from shaking.

“Of course we can”, and Andrea’s voice was gentle now, and oh so worried. 

Andrea then followed Marco out of the room, and Ermal’s gaze followed them, the hope that everything would be alright fighting in his heart against the worry caused by the tone that Marco had talked in.

 

The door closed behind them, and Andrea looked at Marco with wide eyes - at his pale face, his nervously swallowing throat, his hands that he balled into fists and buried somewhere in the depths of his jeans’ pockets. Marco's whole body seemed to be on edge, just like his soul, and Andrea didn't know what was about to come, and he also knew that the other boy needed his time here, time to find the right words to let Andrea know whatever it was he wanted to share, but at the same time, every single one of Andrea's brain cells seemed to scream at him to just go and hug Marco, and not let go, at least not until this terrible expression had vanished from his eyes; this expression that looked so awfully like resignation. But Andrea didn't. He just stood there, giving Marco not only time but also space, and waited, the shaky attempt for an encouraging smile on his lips.

"Marco?", he gently asked after a moment, when Marco's eyes had focused somewhere near Andrea's shoes.

Marco didn't look up, but seemed to take a deep breath, and finally, started to speak.

"I need to tell you something. Or well, actually, it's two things. Two things that you should know, that you _deserve_ to know. And-", his eyes finally left the ground, and met Andrea's, though it was just for a second, before he closed them for another deep breath, "I like you. I've liked you from the first time you've been here, and by now, it's-", a rather breathless laugh left his lips, "I don't quite know how to describe this any different than by saying that I've fallen for you. And I, I like you not only as the wonderful friend that you are, but also in a romantic sense."

Andrea stared at Marco, his mouth open and his eyes wide in surprise, but just when a smile started to blossom on his face and he wanted to say something himself, Marco stopped him.

"No, please, Andrea, let me finish first", and the joy in Andrea's heart got strangled by confusion when he heard how paper thin Marco's voice suddenly had gotten, and how there seemed to be a tear glistening in his eye.

With a heavy feeling of dread in his heart, Andrea nodded, and Marco looked straight into his eyes now, a deep vulnerability visible behind the tears.

"I've got the impression that you maybe might feel this too, something like a romantic spark between us", Marco continued, "and I started to hope that you might like me too, but if that should be the case, I've got to tell you something before."

"Marco, whatever it is-", Andrea tried, ignoring how he had promised himself to let the other one finish his talk first - the pain in Marco's eyes was hard to witness, especially when Andrea himself would have felt happy enough to start a spontaneous dance, faced with the possibility that Marco might like him back.

"Shh, please. What I'm trying to tell you, I-", and Marco still was looking bravely into Andrea's eyes, "I'm asexual."

.

Marco closed his mouth, biting his bottom lip that maybe would have started to shake otherwise, and his gaze wandered towards his own shoes; too scared of what he might discover in Andrea's face - confusion, that would have been bearable, even a lack of understanding, but what Marco's heart couldn't have handled was the disappointment he feared to see. And so he looked away, missing the observation that disappointment was a feeling nowhere close to Andrea in that moment.

Andrea let Marco's words sink in, and then took a little step closer, until his own shoes appeared in Marco's line of vision.

"Hey", Andrea said softly, and Marco looked up at him, his eyes wet and his expression guarded.

Marco didn't say anything, not trusting his own voice, but his gaze seemed to be begging for Andrea to say something, something more, and that, the younger man did.

"Soo, you're ace."

"Yes", and hadn't they been standing so close to each other, Andrea wouldn't have been able to understand his words.

"Okay."

"Okay?", and here, Marco couldn't hide his confusion - if there was one answer he hadn't expected, it was this, especially not in such a calm tone of voice. This wasn't a passive aggressive Okay, or one that indicated that things were everything but Okay, and it also didn't sound like a goodbye, no, not at all. It was just an Okay.

"Yes. It's okay. I, I'm surprised, I admit that, and honored, that you trust me with this, and what I got from earlier is, you like me, in a romantic sense?", Andrea waited for Marco's nod of confirmation, and then continued, a happy blush spreading on his cheeks, "So you like me, and I like you. And that's what counts here, I think. And, well, if you'd ever like to go on a date with me, I'd love to take you to my favourite Chinese restaurant."

"Of course I'd like to go on a date with you", and Marco's voice sounded like his heart was about to break, "but I, I need to be totally sure that you did understand me right here. When I say that I'm ace, it doesn't mean that I'm picky about whom I have sex with, or that I don't sleep with people as often as the average person might, it's just, this is never going to happen. I'll never-, not when we go on our first date and also not after our tenth, or if we'd get married one day, I just won't, and I need you to be aware of that."

Marco looked at Andrea as if he'd expect him to suddenly sigh in realization and turn away, but nothing the like happened. Instead, Andrea raised his hand, slowly, so very slowly, giving Marco every opportunity to step away, and once he didn't, Andrea gently wiped a tear from his cheek.

"I understood that, I really did. And it's okay for me. When I thought about me maybe having a chance with you, and yes, I've thought of that often, I sometimes imagined us taking a walk along the beach, holding hands, stopping for some ice cream and a kiss - _that's_ the kind of stuff I'm dreaming of. I'd like to have picnics in the park with my boyfriend and to share those always too large bags of popcorn at the cinema and to fall asleep all cuddled up in front of the TV together - or also not cuddled up, whatever you're most comfy with -, and I'd love to have all of this with you. And I don't care if we wouldn't sleep with each other, I really really don't. Can you try to believe that?"

Something close to a sob escaped Marco's lips, the tension slowly leaving his body, and his vision was a little blurry, but he still could see Andrea's face quite well. Filled with so much _affection_ , and, once he spotted the new tears running down Marco's cheeks, also with worry.

"I like cuddling, and falling asleep together with you sounds amazing", Marco whispered through the tears, "Just as kissing you, I'd absolutely love to try that out one day. But right now - can you hug me?"

Andrea had his arms wrapped around Marco in no time, holding him close, and after a moment, he heard the other's breathing become a bit calmer, and felt his hands that had clenched in the fabric of Andrea's jacket at his back relaxing a little. Marco rested his forehead at Andrea's shoulder, and the younger man started to softly play with the short hair at the back of his neck, resulting in a sound nearly like a purr.

"So is that a yes? On going to a date with me?", Andrea asked with a smile swinging in his voice, and Marco loosened the hug, his arms still halfway around Andrea, but being able to look into his eyes again.

"Yes, of course it is! There's nothing that would make me happier than going on a date with you."

"Wonderful! Chinese food it is then, and maybe some cuddling?”

"Definitely some cuddling."

 

Ermal had ended up on the sofa with Carlotta, who told him about the awesome women in her family after he had asked about her aunt and the jewelry store, and just when Ermal himself was about to mention his grandma, Andrea and Marco walked back into the room and sat down at the smallest sofa together. And Ermal noticed three things.

Marco was smiling, brightly, with his lips as well as his eyes.

At Marco’s sweater, a pin was glittering: a little planet in black, grey, white and purple.

And, most importantly, Marco’s hand was holding Andrea’s, his thumb gently stroking the other boy’s skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has an idea for a fitting English translation of Unverständnis, please tell me 😁

**Author's Note:**

> If you read this and liked it, it would be very nice if you left a comment!! ❤️
> 
> Title from Troye Sivan's wonderful song "Heaven"


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